Me & You

Our meeting was totally unexpected.
Not to mention that I've never expected that I would meet someone as perfect as you.
I still remember the first time I see you.
To me, you were like a Teddy Bear(and still are) coz you're really TALL & BIG!
Haha.. Not the best compliment and yet, you gave me the safe feeling coz that day, the sun was at its peak. It was blazing and so darn bright I thought my eyes would pop out.
But you shielded me from the sun when you arrived.
I was like: "Omigosh.. Teddy Tree!!!". Wakakaka...
That time, we were just passing acquaintances where we just said "HI!" and we were introduced where you were introduced as his most beloved senior.
I've heard so much about you from him and finally meeting you, I understand why he likes you so much.


As time passes by, we get to know each other better and had so MUCH to chat on MSN.
Usually, we would chat till late at night or better yet, till early morning (2~3a.m.).
Slowly, we meet up and hang out and that's where Lynn came into our picture. Hee~~~
Then, it's always been us 3~~~ The Trio! Haha..
You also care for your junior so SO MUCH and tried to help him which made me hate you at that point of time where I felt like going straight to your house and bash you up. XD!
After all, we stay in the same area and it's only 5 minutes journey.
You kept on convincing me until I can't take it and said:
"If he's such a nice guy and you love him so much, why don't you just get together with him and be his boyfriend?"
I could almost see that (=.=") expression on your face in my mind's eye.
After that, you didn't want to flare my temper anymore and we went back to talk about random stuffs like Pokemon and gossips. Haha..
You see, to me, you are like this adult that really loves Pokemon which struck me as funny. XD..
We would talk about almost anything.
And I would tell you about my crush which didn't end happily. Hahx...
That time, you were nothing more than my big bro that is always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to when others were too busy for me.
I would always look forward to chatting with you whenever I log into my MSN account and I would always find for your name in my contact list.
Plus, I couldn't harbour any feelings for you as you were in a really sweet relationship.
I'm not really qualified as someone who can break couples up. haha..


Then, February 2006 arrived and that's when you break the heart-wrenching news to me.
The first thing I could think of was: "God.. He must be damn sad"
Because I know that you love her a lot at that time.
Then, I tried cheering you up and told you not to be too sad.
There are lines where I learnt from those drama I watched to convince you that with your qualifications, you will surely find some other gal.
Haha.. I'm not really that good of a comforter. XD...
After that, I don't know since when I started having feelings for you.
But I do know that the feeling got stronger as time passes me by.
I just shrugged it of as a normal feeling one would have for their big brother.
Besides, you've always been.. well.. just there. So, I didn't give it much thought.


A few months went on...
I guess you healed a little bit...
Then, I was dense enough to story you about cute guys, hot guys, guys I've met, etc...
When you tell me that you have feelings for this another girl, I was happy for you.
But, somewhere inside me, I was jealous and I didn't know why.
I guess I was afraid that you will spend more time with her and soon abandon me.
You were unwilling to tell me who that girl is and just told me that the girl would not like someone like you.
I just thought that what you think is stupid... coz to me, who wouldn't like you?
If someone was to say lines like "I like him, but I'm sure he won't like a girl like me", it would surely be me.
At one point, I was relieved, but I was oh-so-dumb and kept on giving you courage to court her.
To me, it was the right thing to do.
But, I kept on pestering you into telling who the gal is because I was curious and I wanted to know which girl managed to catch your heart.
You were such an ass at that time coz you refused to tell me no matter how I pester you everytime we chat.
You were also an ass coz you were so jobless and pretended to be another person and made me believe it. I was so damn stupid I sticked up and argued with "him" whenever he told bad things about you. Grrr...
You told me it's your way of seeing whether am I a good friend.
If you were in front of me, I'll surely bash you up.

Soon, June 2006 arrived.
I remember I was chatting with you about this guy whom I met and liked me.
One in a million of the guys who would fall for me. I admit I'm not a popular girl. I'm the type of girl that will go unnoticed if I don't open my mouth and make a sound.
Then, I was jokingly asking for your opinion whether I should accept him although I've already made up my mind that I won't.
Before I knew it, I was pestering you again to tell me the gal you falled for.
And this time, you finally gave in and told me.
The instant I saw what you typed: "It's actually you la"...
I was dumbfounded and stunned and a small smile formed on my lips.
For a while, I thought you typed to the wrong person or typed wrongly.
And for a while, I didn't reply and just stared at the screen trying to process the written words as if it isn't English.
Until you typed: "Are you there?"
Then, you started making up stories such as it wasn't you who typed it.
And you were just joking which was really REALLY funny.. Haha...
Then, I asked for a little time to think about it.
From your reply, I can sense your dissapointment and lack of confidence which is really rare because you are a guy FILLED with confidence.
It took me 3 weeks to reply positively because there is really LOADS of stuffs for me to consider.
The most important one is me losing this friend which happened but is all okay now.
I guess humans mature.
Haha.. I still remember the reply you gave when I say that you can always call it quits when you find out you don't really like me after all.
You said: "You think I'm buying sayur in pasar ar?"


Those recollections of my past is really sweet and I'm afraid as I get older, I would forget it.
So, I just thought of immortalizing it here.
Honestly, I didn't think that our relationship would last long coz I don't have self-confidence with myself.
I don't know what you saw in me.
I'm not petite as other gals are. I'm the tall, lanky and super thin without front and back type. LOL!
And I'm not smart.
Plus, I'm naive!
And because of some dark things that has happened to me, I couldn't accept myself at some point in time.
Occassionally, I would think back and can't help feeling disgusted.
But, I didn't want to give up without trying and I really didn't want to lose you especially when the opportunity presented itself.
And see how long we've been together.
Like you said: It's not easy to build a 3 years relationship together and it makes me proud too.
Admittedly, you're not the perfect boyfriend. Haha...
If I were to ask you to choose between me and studies.. Let's just say I kind of knew the answer. Hee..
But, you're a really great man and partner.
To me, you're the best man a gal could find.
You became the role model in my life where no other guys could match up to you.
In other words, you were incomparable.
Sometimes, I'm really afraid of losing you as I'm pretty darn sure that it would be hard for me to accept another guy.
That's how great of an influence you've exerted on me... I guess no one could measure up.
Although at the first stage of our relationship, I never really trust you and were afraid of you.
And you were always the one to make things work.
You think I would complain about you now???


You were willing to hit the arcades with me.
I love the moments when we just hold hands and walk from Pavilion to Sungai Wang then back to Pavilion coz your car is parked there for God-Knows-Why.
I love the moments when you were simply there right beside me.
I love the moments when something special came up and we would exchange presents.
I love the moments where you would purposely ask me to do things I wouldn't refuse in front of your parents just to tease me.


Undeniably, both of us changed a lot since 3 years ago.
I don't find for you whenever I log into my MSN account anymore.
You weren't always just there anymore like last time, but I know I could always count on you to be there for me when I need you.
We don't chat as much as last time, but whenever we do talk on the phone, it always overwhelms me when I hear your voice.
You showed me that I could also be loved like those girls I'm jealous of coz they seem so happy with their partners which I soon found out that their "love" are fakes.
You never blame me for anything that happened, but slowly taught me to make it right.
You taught me how to face the problem that presents itself and not hide from it like I always do.
You gave confidence to me to do what I want to do.
You believed in me eventhough I don't believe in myself.
You love me and taught me to do the same.
You care for me.
You support me when I'm about to fall.
You never let go even when I felt like letting go.
You were willing to give me so much time.
You were willing to wait.
You accepted me when I had a tough time doing it.
Most importantly, you are always patient with me and never gave up on me.


I admit that I'm not a fantastic girlfriend.
Most of my guy friends take me as a guy coz I lack so many girly attributes.
I don't do PDA(Public Display of Affection).
I won't wilt and die if I don't see you for a day.
I hate crying because that just shows that I'm weak. I would only do it where noone sees and if I really can't take it anymore.
If I don't like a person, I won't strike a conversation even if he/she is of good use to me.
I would definitely hit the arcades if there's a guy who is experienced is with me.
I don't really like shopping unless if I saw a beautiful one that suits me.
75% of my wardrobe's clothes consists of clothes my mum bought for me without my presence.
You could count the number of shoe I own with 3 fingers.
When I go out, I borrow one of my mum's nicer clothes that suits me.
I prefer gaming compared to "who's paris hilton's latest guy?".
Whenever I talk, mostly is about gaming especially if a guy is around.
Ask me the most popular colour of the season and I'll give you a blank look unless if my mum told me about it before.
I don't know how to kiss. LOL! Time to learn la kan?


I know you'll get so damn absorbed in your studies that I hate you for it sometimes.
But, a man's gotta do what he's gotta do right?
Obviously, I'll complain especially to Lynn & Chee Kien and some other random person, but I guess I never really blame you for it.
Everyone has his own priorities, and I know what's yours.
I still love you for it and wouldn't make me love you any less.
I'll always be here supporting you.
And you can always find me when you just want to find a place to hide from the whole world.
No matter what, I'll always be here where you need me the most.
You need not feel guilty as I've never blamed you.
Loving you more and more each passing second...
Also, I've never stopped loving you...

*I've always believed that if I stare long enough into the horizon, you'll be there for me. My faith in you never waver