I'm just not the one...

"I've always thought we're the perfect match made in heaven,
that no one could compare to us...
But then I realise,
I'm just not suitable for someone like you"

Turning point

I've always thought that my life would remain static forever... until 2 weeks ago. Everything took a 180 degrees turn. It's awful. I used to assume that I'm always ready to put down something if it is very dear for me, for their own good... Even if it hurts me. Just that I've never thought that it would hurt so bad. Until I almost lost myself... I've lost my pillar of strength. Confusion overwhelmed me to the point that I could only stare at what happened and start crying... Although I'm better now.. My tears are starting to dry up. But, whenever I'm alone or feeling down, the wound reopens and continues to haunt me. When will it be cured? The small little things you do cuts me... The lost warmth from you, kills me... I'm constantly hurt from the little things you do. I'm constantly tired by the drama I have to fake. I'm starting to accept it as my day-to-day occurence. Then another thing happened to make it worse...

My beloved hamster, Chumi ChuChu, passed away. I didn't even get to say goodbye because of my recklessness. He didn't even get to see the chinese new year. He left us during the Chinese New Year's eve. I only started crying when i took him out of his house to be buried. When I touched his hard little body, I couldn't supress it. It is almost depressing to lose 2 precious things at one time. Worst of all, they are away from you when you want them around. First time encountering such feeling and it cuts so deep... I wonder if such things happens again, will I be brave enough to overcome it? Rest in peace Chumi, we love you a lot... Now that you and ChiChi(my other hamster who only survived 5 months, RIP two years ago) are gone from me, I can only wish for you to have all the happiness in the world.

No matter what happens, you, you and you are very precious to me and will always have a place in my heart...

Rest in peace Chumi...

*thanks to my friends who have supported me so much...Without you guys, I'm sure everything would be harder..*

I don't know since when my blog has turned so emo. Bear with me...

Something about me. How True??? Hmm...

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

-http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx-