My Uni condition

University life is taking it's toll on me.
So lifeless and vexing.
My only aim is topass the exams get at least a B in the exams.
And end everything.
I'm really looking into a very dark future.
There is only nothingness...

I've Sinned and I admit!

Hi, I've commited a crime a.k.a I've sinned. I forgotten Teddy Mak Pui Yee's birthday which was on June. Yah, curse me to go to hell or whatever. I think I deserve it. Sorry Pui Yee. I know "sorry no cure". But, just wanna say it anyway. And Happy Belated Birthday. Hope you had a nice b'day.

*Slowly drifting apart.. When will I drown???*

They come and go...

The hottest news right now must be the death of the LEGEND, MICHAEL JACKSON.


I guess I can be considered as one of the few who knows about this?


Listening to One.FM every morning when I wake up has been a habit. Like every Friday, I was listening to One.FM last 2 days. Somehow, that particular Friday's news gave changed the whole world (one way or the other)... Then I heard the DJ, Jeff, saying that Michael Jackson passed away due to heart attack. I was like.. "Oh.. Okay. Michael Jackson passed away". *This is what you call morning blurness*.


Then, as Jeff continues to feed details on his death, the reality starts to sink in slowly.. Michael Jackson, THE LEGEND, had left all of us. Honestly, I'm not that affected as I'm not a fan of him. Plus, because of his cases with the children, he gave me a totally bad impression. That's why I've never came to like him. I've even labelled him as a sick man. Ya, I know I'm not a very nice person. I guess because of my prejudice towards him, I didn't try to accept his songs or his greatness in the music industry.


Everytime my mum tells me that MJ is a good dancer and singer.. The words just come and go. Actually, he looked quite good last time. I personally think that it's kind of dumb of him to undergo so many operation to whiten himself and look really bad. But, I guess he can't be blamed. Blame it on fame? Blame it one people who cares about skin colour?


I'm sure MJ has loads of his fans out there. Loving him for his voice, songs and his most famous moon-walk. The world would certainly mourn his loss. It's a loss to the world for losing a legend such as him. But, maybe there's a positive side of it?


REST IN PEACE!

---

While popular people like him will be mourned by the whole world, there are some people that will go unnoticed and will only be noticed by their loved ones.


Life is a never-ending cycle. Live and die. some may die young while some lives long enough. Some die of natural cause while some die under the hands of reckless people and ruin the victim and the victim's loved ones' lives. I would refer to these reckless people as IDIOT. Doing things without thinking of the consequences or would just think of their own benefit. People who's done wrong should own up to their own faults.


At last, those who receives the hardest pain is the victim's loved ones. Hating the idiot. Some maybe cursing. Or some would be thinking "Why did he bang my xxx?" or "What if I didn't let xxx go there?" or "I shouldn't have let xxx went there".. Which is totally bad for the mind.


But, as the saying goes, "Good people don't last long" because the Gods loves kind-hearted people. So, maybe that's why they are taken away for us. I'm sure they would be totally removed from the worldly desires and might even be happier "up there". I guess most people will refer to it as Heaven.


I only hope that noone will blame themselves for the death of their loved ones. And no point in thinking "If only I..." because if it's destined, then there's no way you can change it. I'm sure those who's passed on would like you to continue with your life as happily as possible. The greatest love??? To be happy for your loved ones even if he/she is no more with you. Loving someone doesn't mean you have to have him/her. Learn to let go and walk on bravely. The future lies ahead and the past will always remain as memories and lesson to be learnt to be a better person.


*No matter how the sky is dark, light will always prevail like however long is the night, morning will always come*

Selfish... Really...

Honestly people, please don't be a fishmonger.

In other words: PLEASE DON'T SELL FISH = PLEASE DON'T BE SELFISH!!!

Today I went to the market with my parents. And the market we went is always crowded every single weekend as it is very popular. So, whenever we want to eat, we had to hunt for a place. And today, although we managed to find a table, we were short of one chair for my dad. So, I went to the neighbour table to get a chair since I saw an extra chair:

" Me: Err..Uncle. Is this seat taken??? *smiles politely*

Bloody Uncle: Yeah.. Yeah.. Yeah.. *smiles exaggeratedly like some bitch*

Me: Umm.. But there are 2 seats here. Are both these seats taken??? *I saw only one fella get out to get food*

Bloody Uncle: YeaYeaYeaYeaYea.. It's taken.. It's taken.. *still has that bitchy smile. NOTE: Uncle is a GUY*

Me: Owh.. Okay... Thanks... *walks away* "

Then.. Dad came back from ordering food.. Luckily with a chair for himself to sit. I was thinking "That bloody uncle better be telling me the truth that there's another person sitting there". Then, I turned my head to his direction and saw(to my frustration) he got up from his original place and sit on the chair that I wanted PLUS the seat next to him is occupied by his newspaper!!! ARGH!!! WHAT THE?!?!?!?

I told my mum about it... She said "It's like that one lar.. Kiasu"... OH MY GOD!!! In this crowded market with so many people standing by each table just waiting for a chance to sit down and have their breakfast, please be more considerate and DON'T SAVE THE SEAT FOR A NEWSPAPER!!!

*No offense to real fishmongers. I don't mean it literally. PEACE... I still need real fishmongers for real fish supply*

Happy Parents' Day~!~!~!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY~!~!~!

21^st June 2009 is another memorable day FOR ALL the father's in the universe. It is where their children will celebrate this day with them. Sending gifts, cutting cakes or even a small little "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY" wish is enough to make any dad happy.

Talking about fathers, they always give me the image of a very strong man who is the PILLAR of the family. No matter how you lean onto him, he would always be strong for the household.
I guess my dad projects that kind of image to us - their children.

My dad is NOT the kind of tech savvy kind of man who keeps up to the latest technology of updating his laptop with the most recent programs. Nor is he the kind of dad that cuddles you and shows his love every minute. He's the kind of cool dad that hardly talks and feared by his children. Sometimes, he even gives the impression that he doesn't really care about his kids that much.

In fact, he don't even update his laptop virus definition files!!! Without the kids and technician, I guess his laptop is much destroyed. Hee... And to him, handphones are only for calling in & out. >.<".. Admittedly, it's kind of hard sometimes when you want to find a REALLY good reason to change to a cool high-tech phone. Haha... That's how MY dad is...

But behind this image he built for himself, he's actually a caring dad. STRICT but LOVING dad. He totally suprised me by asking about my boyfriend one day. And my mum even told me that he asked her about my relationship with my boyfriend. He's always pampered me in a discreet manner. And he does jokes when he's in the mood. Most of all, he's always treated me as the small little girl 10 years ago. Maybe he should start to grow out of it. It's annoying how he's so stubborn at times. And whenever he uses the line "SERVES WHAT PURPOSE?" when me and my bro wants to go out, me and my bro would definitely relish a punch on.. wherever. LOL!

But, I guess that's what makes my dad unique in his own way. I would take this opportunity to say "THANKS FOR EVERYTHING & YOU'RE ALWAYS MY ONE AND ONLY DAD NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS"! I know that we shouldn't only express our love towards our dad on this special day.. But I am one of those few kids that has difficulty in expressing their own feelings. XD...

---

It's only fair that I wish this too...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY~~~

My mum and dad are like people from 2 different worlds. While my friends who saw my dad would say that he's fierce, they would totally like my mum and comment that she looks "young" and "friendly".. =.="... She loves it when other people says that we're sisters... (huh?? What the... that makes me old...)

And also, she's the kind of fierce but open-minded mum. Compared to my dad, mum's more to the hot-tempered side. Mum is also more up-to-date with the latest fashion and sometimes technology. It's funny when they argue about something at times. (Because both also don't have the correct point. In other words, both are wrong while me and my bro would be snickering.)

But, me and my bro talks mostly to her as she is a good conversationist(is there this kind of word????). Just that when she gets angry and annoying, that's where me and bro will start to boycott her.

Another opportunity to express myself again.. "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! ALTHOUGH BOY AND ME ALWAYS DO A LOT OF THINGS TO MAKE YOU ANGRY, DO FORGIVE US. IT'S NOT OUR FAULT AFTER ALL. XD.. AND YOU'RE FOREVER OUR MOTHER."

Oh.. and also to our GRANDMOTHER who's done more than what she should, cooking for us, cleaning us, nagging us non-stop.. Admittedly, you're something like our second mother. WE LOVE YOU FOR ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR US! Hee.. Sorry also for screaming at you at times.

*To all the kids out there, do spend time with your parents and never neglect them. At the end of the day, when everything crumbles down, they're the one that will always stay by your side. Although they might seem GODLIKE at times, they're still human like you and me.

*Happy Parents' Day to all the parents in the world, no matter where you may be.. Rested in peace or still present. Your kids must be missing you somewhere in one corner of the earth.

Deeper

I am inside a hole dug up partly by myself.. As I try to pull myself up... I got deeper into the hole... Whoever can save me...?

Just the kind of human where I wouldn't give a damn after it's over

I would have to tag~~~

Tagged by: Yoke Ha
1. Besides your lips, where is the favourite spot to get kissed?
~Cheeks~
2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
~Woke up at 0300 hours and... SHIT!!! MY TUTORIAL HAVEN'T DO!!! ARGH!!! (ended up that the tutorial wasn't today. =.=") ~
3. Who was the last person/people you took photo with?
~Chee Kian.. Wei!!! I want my leng lui pics!! LOL~
4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
~No I guess. I spoil others... Hehx~
5. Will you ever donate blood?
~Maybe.. If the needle is not so scary and if it doesn't hurt so much~
6. Have you ever have a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
~Ken BP??? Eh, no.. He's my prince. LOL!!!
The 2 chickies?? No, they always bully me...
Ken Chen??? NO!!! He's my "ZI MUI" a.k.a my sis. WAKAKAKAK!!!~
7. Do you want someone to be dead?
~YAH.. all those killers and murderers~
8. what does your last text message say?
~"Y dying there ar? Is it any i can help? Btw, jz dun go during lunch time ya!(12-2) cz she might b nt around..Im stil go for event oli lo..Cz tis 2 week im bc v my group assg lo.. Y?" from my ever caring BP~
9. What are your thinking right now?
~How to save money le? To many events coming up soon... LOL ~
10. Do you want someone be with you now?
~No~
11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
~ 2030 hours? Lol!!! Dozed off ~
12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
~ Metrojaya Sale ~
13. Is someone in your mind right now?
~ Yeah.. A few people in fact.. XD~
14. Who was the last person who text you?
~ Ken BP ~
10 lucky persons to do this quiz... (tagged!!!! )
Sunny, Chee Kian, Lynnett, Benson, Chee Kien, Jian Fung, Choo, Ken BP, Amanda, Jun Lin
Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
~ LOL.. He's single and available ~
16. Is no.3 a male or female?
~ female ~
17. If no.7 and no.1 get together, will it be good?
~ NoooOOOO!! LOL. Never try to do dat ~
18. What is no.1 studying about?
~Chemical Engineering~
19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
~Today??? But not all also~
20. Is no. 4 single?
~Yeah.. mayb?~
21. Say something about no.2.
~EVIL!!! ~
22. What do you think about no.2 and no.6 being together?
~UEK!!! Vomit blood. Plus, they're both guys~
23. Describe no.9.
~Kind and super soft~
24.Do you like no.8?
~Sure thing. How can I not???~
25. When is the last time you meet/ talk/ chat to no.10?
~ LONG TIME AGO~

New Semester in A Whole New Place~~~!!!

My blog is nearing it's death's day again... =.="...
Sorry.. I found out that I've became more devoted to my new degree.
(We shall see when will my fiery determination burn out)
Plus, my internet connection at home had been haywire for 3 weeks plus already.
Something wrong with the LAN (Local Area Connection) network.
And I really don't know what else can I do other than calling and calling Streamyx up to solve the prob.
So there goes day.. after day.. after day... after day.. after day.. TILL NOW!

---

Anyway, my new semester is quite okay. I noticed that it's different from foundations. Where:

1) Lecturers don't really mind whether you listen to their lectures or not. We're big enough to think.

2) You're really gonna flunk the whole course if you don't pay attention in class.

3) The people there are different from foundations.

(I'm starting to think of it as my problem. My foundation group pepz are really fun and crazy!!! It's sort of my prob that I'm shutting myself from the other pepz. ARGH!!! Lol.. Blame TD15 for being such great pepz...)

4) Students are actually PAYING ATTENTION in class compared to last time during foundations.

I guess that's what I can think of so far. This 3 weeks has not yet been a busy week for me.

I'm just waiting for assignments to pile up. And then that's where things truly starts...

In fact I'm so NOT busy that:

~ We had steamboat in Sunny's place in PV5

~ We had weekly badminton games

~ I managed to catch Terminator Salvation with Chee Kian

~ Chu, Joyce, Pei Wen, Me, Hock Heng, Min Yang and Tok managed to play this eye-power-squeezing game in the library. Trust me, it's really eye-power squeezing.

LOL! Being in this Setapak campus needs a whole new adjustment as there's an OFFICIAL LECTURE HALL!!! No more classrooms during lecture~~~ And also, since I'm commuting by public transport, there's a loooooooooooooong way to walk.

OH!!! And there's a subject this semester that really caught my attention (although now not really anymore coz it's not easy to learn.. Plus, I'm not from chinese background whih makes it all the harder) which is JAPANESE LANGUAGE~~~

And surely, subjects that is a must for Actuarists: Calculus, Probability & Statistics, Discrete Mathematics...

Plus additional: Business Accountings and Programming.

Seriously, Actuarial Science SHOULD NOT be called Actuarial Science anymore. I don't know why is the "Science" there. And it's hard to communicate to other people telling that I'm an Actuarial Science students.

Some will be "Oh.. So, you taking science subjects ar???"

While some... "Huh???"

And I usually find myself just saying "I'm studying counting. Where I will have to count, count, and COUNT in the future. You know, something like accounting. =)"

And that seems to do the trick where they'll just "Oh~~~"...

Both parties also happy. =.="..

I guess that's all I can doodle for the time being.

And honestly, everytime I open the newspaper, all I can see are bad news.

Abused maids.

Child kidnapped.

Robbers attacking eateries.

Haihz... What's to happen in a few years times???

And I'm starting to despise the development happening in Sentul.

Yah.. I know that development is good.

But, I'm going to miss the cows that are gonna be herded to another place...

And the shops lots opposite my previous house...

The silence that is comforting at times...

The country-ish feel of the place...

The old uncles and aunties that watched me grow up...

The sound of kids running around...

The sound of the bicycle of the candy seller late at night...

The times where you don't need to worry even if you're walking alone on the streets...

And so much.. so much more... are now but mere memories...

*As people grow up, things change.. They start to pursue things and start to forget things that are dear to them once upon a time.. Old things forgotten, new things cherished. Nothing is forever... As the cycle repeats itself*

Bye-bye to holidays. Gambatte!!!

My new semester is starting soon in 10 more hours. Gosh.. Kind of nervous. =S..

But, I guess I'll just do my best. Thanks to BP for advising. Don't worry.. The chances of me breaking down is kind of low.. for now. XD..

My break this time is kind of fulfilling because I got to meet up with my treasured ones such as Lynn, Simon, BP and Chee Kian.

And unexpectedly, got to meet up with Darling and also Chee Kien last 2 days. Not to mention Stanley who left us after mamak.

I'm really happy and I admit my idea of happiness is kind of simple. Spending time with my treasured ones.

Especially if it involves strong determination to beat the high score of the basketball game in arcades. LOL!!! Yah.. that's what Darling, Chee Kien and me did when we went to the newly opened shopping mall in Setiawangsa. >.<... Luckily you weren't there to watch us. Our stunts are just so unbelievable!!! borrowing balls from the other machine and sitting/kneeling on top of the machine

Not to mention critisizing the place and accidently bumped into someone they knew. LOL!

It's nice just hearing to them talking. It's been so long since I've heard their "melodious" voices. Haha..

I guess it'll be some time again until we meet up. Chee Kien is definitely going places after this. Managed to say super-advanced sorry for not able to celebrate my birthday with me. >.<"""... Anyway, thanks for the lunch~~~ It was really a suprise. You take care of yourself ar!!!

Darling's getting into terra-busy mode again. Remember to eat well and do take care of your own health.. >.<... Never neglect your meal.*sigh*

HaHa... I guess I'm prepared for my new day at a new place. Gambatte!!!

*will I ever get past 21..? How I wish to drift into winter dream wonderland~~~ LOL*

It's HIM again!!!

Qing Hua Ci MV!!! Kind of like this song. Emo n hard to understand. >.<"...



Qing Hua Ci(Chinese pinyin)

su pei gou le chu qing hua bi feng nong zhuan dan
ping shen miao hui de mu dan yi ru ni chu zhuang
ran ran tan xiang tou gou chuang xin shi wo liao ran
xuan zhi shang zou bi zhi ci ge yi ban

you se xuan ran shi nv tu yun wei bei si cang
er ni yan ran de yi xiao ru han bao dai fang
ni de mei yi lv piao san / qu dao wo qu bu liao de di fang

#tian qing se deng yan yu / er wo zai deng ni
chui yan niao niao sheng qi / ge jiang qian wan li
zai ping di shu han li fang qian zhao de piao yi
jiu dang wo wei yu jian ni fu bi

*tian qing se deng yan yu / er wo zai deng ni
yue se bei da lao qi / yun kai liao jie ju
ru zhuan shi de qing hua ci zi gu zi mei li / ni yan dai xiao yi

se bai hua qing de jin li yue ran yu wan di
lin mo song ti luo kan shi que dian ji zhe ni
ni yin cang zai yao shao li qian nian de mi mi
ji xi ni you ru xiu hua zhen luo di

lian wai ba jiao re zhou yu men huan re tong lv
er wo lu guo na jiang nan xiao zhen re le ni
zai po mo shan shui hua li / ni cong mo se shen chu bei yin qu

-Translation-

The brush outlines a beautiful pattern, brush strokes becoming lighter
The peony on the bottle, simplest beauty, just like you
Whiffs of incense smoke bring your troubles to my heart
I pause halfway while painting

The glazing of the lady's portrait hides her charm
Your smile, to me, like a budding flower
But your beauty dissipates like smoke, to a place I can never reach

#The perfect shade of blue awaits the right weather, like how I wait for you
From a thousand miles away, I gaze at the curling chimney smoke
The calligraphy beneath the bottle, elegance of the Han Dynasty
Our meeting I foreshadowed

*The perfect shade of blue awaits the right weather, like how I wait for you
The moonlight smudged away the remnants of our ending
Like legendary porcelain obsessed with itself, your eyes full of laughter

Those blue carp seem to come alive on the white bowl
While I am imitating the Song inscription I'm thinking of you
The eon of secrets you buried in the kiln
It's exquisiteness like an embroidery needle

The banana tree outside brought the sudden downpour, and in turn the copper rust on the door handle
My passing by Jiangnan brings me to you
Yet you fade away into the deep abyss of the Chinese painting

---

Haha.. I guess those who's not interested in Baron Chen should skip this entry. Don't say I didn't warn you. XD
LOL~~~ I'm in love with Baron Chen Chu He all over again.
I'm seriously having some anxiety problems.
Whenever a new semester is going to start or exam or anything big is coming, I'll go and find something drastic to do.
Mostly is re-read all the comics I have.
Or suddenly go online and start downloading all d comics.
This time, I re-watched Fated To Love You!!!
And fell in love with Baron Chen Chu He all over again.
Only this time, the intensity GREW...
I spent almost 4 hours yesterday night reading some information about him.
Haih.. Really looking forward to his new drama series.

And I got to know that he's quite a quiet guy.
And his father is a gangster from a triad gang.. Who passed away last 2 years...
I went to some of the forums and noticed that some people is not really happy with that fact.
Personally, I think that the fact that his father is so does not make any difference as long as Baron doesn't take the same track as his father does.
The plus point is.. He still loves his father. I think because he stepped back into the kitchen of his old house to cook as paying his last respect to his deceased father.
And look at him now.. Kind of successful..

Appearing in Jay Chou's Qing Hua Ci MV, Kung Fu Dunk and Fated To Love You.
I've been listening to Qing Hua Ci for 25 times in one day??? God-knows how many times..
The song's genre is something like Fa Ru Shue..
Classical and totally my FAVOURITE!!!
Plus... Qing Hua Ci's MV is so damn cool with Baron in it. LOL!
Watched it quite a few times.

He looks so damn hot in Fated To Love You!!!
He has this model kind of walk.
But, he has some brushing up to do in his acting skills as he's still kind of stiff.
I'm SOOOOOO looking forward for his next series.
*luvs luvs*

Oh... this is his blog... in case anyone who reads Chinese are interested.
And a forum about him..
I kind of like his Western name - Baron - although almost everyone prefers River.
Baron is rare and it holds a title for landlord or something like that.
Increases his elegance. XD!!!

Who's interested or is his fan can access to these webpages.
There kind of shows my love for him.
Shall not repeat it here again. LOL!
And I know I've blogged bout Baron before. Kyaa~~~ Forgive me. LOL..

*An artwork doesn't have a definite price to it; as long as you think it's worth it.. then it is special. THE ONE AND ONLY ONE - One of Baron's quote in the series*