It's The End...

When everything's been said and done;

All's that's left to do is to say goodbye...

"Live through this and you won't look back;

There's one thing I want to say so I'll be brave;

You were what I wanted

I gave what I gave;

I'm not sorry I met you;

I'm not sorry it's over;

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save..."

...from Stars - Your ex-lover is dead

Like an Ocean...

"Like an ocean,

You're too salty to be drank;

And too deep to be understood..."

...from manhwa 'I Love You'

Sunflower and the Sun

"Waiting like the sunflower,

Always gazing towards the sun

with neither hate nor regret;

Patiently bearing the pain

waiting for the sun to shine again;

Continuing to look up with a smile

even through strong wind and heavy rain;

But the sunflower has never felt

nor will it ever feel;

Regret..."

... Zhuo Ling Bin from 1/2 Prince. XD

Please give me the courage

Although I've been telling myself to move on until I've lost count,

I still revert to space-out mode whenever I encounter things that brings back those memories...

Maybe it's really time to take serious actions... Please give me enough courage to get through this phase which I should've got through so long ago...

I'm just not the one...

"I've always thought we're the perfect match made in heaven,
that no one could compare to us...
But then I realise,
I'm just not suitable for someone like you"

Turning point

I've always thought that my life would remain static forever... until 2 weeks ago. Everything took a 180 degrees turn. It's awful. I used to assume that I'm always ready to put down something if it is very dear for me, for their own good... Even if it hurts me. Just that I've never thought that it would hurt so bad. Until I almost lost myself... I've lost my pillar of strength. Confusion overwhelmed me to the point that I could only stare at what happened and start crying... Although I'm better now.. My tears are starting to dry up. But, whenever I'm alone or feeling down, the wound reopens and continues to haunt me. When will it be cured? The small little things you do cuts me... The lost warmth from you, kills me... I'm constantly hurt from the little things you do. I'm constantly tired by the drama I have to fake. I'm starting to accept it as my day-to-day occurence. Then another thing happened to make it worse...

My beloved hamster, Chumi ChuChu, passed away. I didn't even get to say goodbye because of my recklessness. He didn't even get to see the chinese new year. He left us during the Chinese New Year's eve. I only started crying when i took him out of his house to be buried. When I touched his hard little body, I couldn't supress it. It is almost depressing to lose 2 precious things at one time. Worst of all, they are away from you when you want them around. First time encountering such feeling and it cuts so deep... I wonder if such things happens again, will I be brave enough to overcome it? Rest in peace Chumi, we love you a lot... Now that you and ChiChi(my other hamster who only survived 5 months, RIP two years ago) are gone from me, I can only wish for you to have all the happiness in the world.

No matter what happens, you, you and you are very precious to me and will always have a place in my heart...

Rest in peace Chumi...

*thanks to my friends who have supported me so much...Without you guys, I'm sure everything would be harder..*

I don't know since when my blog has turned so emo. Bear with me...

Yet another suprise.. or maybe not?

And here I thought we were advancing...

But why is it that new issues keep arising..

They make me wonder if we're really advancing...

Things that I thought never would happen again...

Things that I thought only happened in the early days..

Things like buildings burnt for revenge...

Chaos created when it isn't a very BIG issue..

Again, another issue that suprised me...

But then again, maybe it's not a big suprise after all... considering their pea brains?

*it's gonna take more than just prayers to make it happen.

Long wait...

I know how it's going to end.

I can see the big tank with wisps of smoke ready to scourge me..

I can feel the menacing teeth of the blood-red blade thirsty for more..

But, when is my time?

I can feel more space as more of my mates are taken out.

At least they don't have to suffer the wait...

Knowing that you're dying, but waiting and waiting...

The wait... It kills me inside...

I'd rather be finished off now.

I'm calling while I still have the voice to..

I'm eating while I'm still offered to...

Anything but closing my eyes...

As I know a long sleep will befall me soon.

If I were to be given an option to be back to where I belong, will I accept it?

Now that I know the sweet taste that is in front of me, I won't give it up for anything..

I don't want to go out and hear the whispers of sweet-nothings...

Promises which are left at that... Just promises... Nothing more, nothing less.

Dissappointed endlessly..

As the door opens and a hand stretches in to reach after me..

Finally...

The long wait has come to an end...

*inspired by the chickens in Pudu Market. Depressed after seeing the fate that befalls them... ><

Just like fireworks

Just like that, a year has passed.

What happened you might ask, but I'm still in a daze - again and again - by how fast time flies.

No doubt, bad things happen, but never forget the good stuffs.

That's how we get on with life.

Look at the positive stuffs. Easier said than done.

But, let's cherish our lives.

Because you'll never get another shot at life.

Just like fireworks, short and sweet.

Innocent Search Gone Awfully Wrong - Simon

Gosh... It's been 2 weeks since Uni started. Week 3 starts now!!!

Well, with only 4 subjects to tackle and out of it, only 2 has final exams!!!

If you think it's going to be a smooth sailing semester - then I can tell you that you should wake up!!! ARGH!!! That applies to me too.

First, there's the Pengajian Malaysia assignment which is due in Week 5. So far, We've decided what topic to do. But, my research is still not done yet. D.I.E!!! And I've never scored an A during PMR or SPM. Sad I know. And now it's Pengajian Malaysia? God only knows what happens...

Then, there's Sun Tzu assignment which is due in Week5~6. I've done quite some research for 3 days!!! Argh!!! And managed to find quite some useful stuffs. At least I've done half of my part. Oh, and I always find myself getting distracted during Sun Tzu lectures. The subject is interesting, mind you. Maybe I didn't take a liking towards the lecturer.. Urgh... This is one of the subjects without final exams. Wohoo!!!

Academic Writing is okay. I don't have much complain about this subject. Except I would have to broaden my knowledge on world issues to write. *sighs* I've always preferred fiction. *sulks* It's where imagination runs wild..! Maybe I just don't like restrictions. =(

And here comes the "fun" subject: Oral Communications. It's fun because we don't have to study like hell like the other subjects. And so far, we had drama, creative singing and composing, case study and mime - where you can't talk and act out something farnee which reminds me of Pokemon and Mr. Bean. The lecturer is quite a fun guy. And we'll be having assessments and assignments to get 100% - which means no finals also. Hee..~~~

So far, everything seems okay and predictably - RUSHED!!! *Akon - Rush*

I wanna find a way to get out of here~~~ Rush Rush...

==

Lame...

And, I'm down with flu and minor cough. Flu always lead me to think of H1N1... Zzzz...

If I'm dead... Please gimme black roses. =x... LOL

Oh.. it's suffering I tell you. Sneezing every possible waking minute... *exaggerates*...

But, I sneezed and coughed to the extent of aching ribs. Must be something, huh?

And my eyes.. GOSH!!! My eyes are already small as it is.. Now it's droopy. Like I'm going to faint anytime. ==... I wonder if it'll worsen to slits. LOL... I'm really reluctant to go to uni. Feeling really weak. But... toughen up!!! HAIT!!!

P.S: Google is such an amazing tool. Ever heard of: innocent search turn awfully wrong? quoted by Simon. Mine did. I thought of typing "History of Toyota Corona". Typing the first 3 alphabets into the search box lead me to a whole new level of OMGWTH-ness. If your google has automated search, you should try. Type in "his" and see what comes out... I was shocked and perplexed to the maximum!!! I didn't know that there'll actually be people googling about this kind off stuffs!!! Like what Beh said - Practically everything under the sun could be googled. I storied this to my bestie and she seemingly can't stop laughing. Sadz... Is it them.. Or is it just me?